003-Venusaur

Venusaur is your father. He is fat, washed up, and a drunkard. His dreams and poetic ambitions as Ivysaur were probably crushed out of him in his late level 20's, turning into the depressed and angry drunk that is Venusaur at level 32. Just look at those eyes. Those eyes are fucking dead. He waddles his fat ass home from work, or the bar, and painfully enters the house he hates. He yells at his wife and makes her feel worthless, then probably goes and looks at Bulbasaur porn on the internet, wearing a sick smile, a glazed look in his eye, and sipping a Coor's Lite the entire time. He then bumbles out of there and when his kids come to check on him he tries to tell them life lessons in his stupor, but it only comes out as "fgag fjhfje fjhje...go fuck yourselves...hdjd g ge rsdf." You're probably thinking "Holy christ, if this pokemon is my dad it's totally fucking worthless, right?" WRONG. I don't know if you've tried, but you don't want to fuck with your dad when he hates you and he's drunk. Venusaur has nothing to live for, and will more than fuck up most pokemon that piss it off. These factors may make Venusaur one of the only grass pokemon worth two shits in the underground world of radioactive mutant animal fighting.