001-Bulbasaur

Bulbasaur is the first in a long series of mythical beasts known as Pokemon. As you can see, the designers had no idea how big this series would get and were lacking some design. Bulbasaur is basically some fucking vampire frog (see teeth and eyes) with, contrary to popular belief, not a flower bud slapped onto his back, but a head of lettuce. That's right. A head of lettuce and since the designers were so lazy, they didn't even bother to make it look like it. In fact, they want you to think it's a flower bud so you don't make fun of their shitty lettuce head. Hell, they probably even wrote it in the series somewhere that the shitpod on his back is a flower bud. Don't believe them. Alright, let's get down to the basic facts. Bulbasaur was only made so Charmander had something to burn right off the bat, and so the unstoppable god machine that is Squirtle was given a "weakness" to make him seem more fair...or something. I don't know. The point is, this piece of shit is as worthless as, well, a piece of shit. If you have a Bulbasaur you did not get from a trade, or from some other means other than picking him, you probably aren't reading this. Fact is, you probably only have half a brain. Fucker. Let's just take a look at the moves he can learn. I'm pretty sure they're only Tailwhip and Growl. Totally. Fucking. Useless. They should have at least given him self-destruct. I mean, any adversary basically does it for him. The only thing he is good for in your party is if you want to let some other pokemon wail on one of your pokes for a while whilst you fix up your party. Even then, Bulbasaur fails. He could probably only withstand one blow. If that.