006- Charizard

Charizard is the horse you rode in. And by horse, I mean fucking dragon. Jesus did not have a steed this fucking valiant. Oh wait. Yes he did. It was a fucking Charizard. This sky serpent is seven tons of pure, fiery terror. I mean, let's look at the facts. George Washington beheaded King George on the back of one of these bastards, ending the Civil War and freeing Poland. Abraham Lincoln marched deep into the underground railroad with one of these bitches and burnt the shit out of the drug cartels in there, securing his place in history as "Totally Fucking Awesome." JFK achieved legendary status when he destroyed Russia and Cuba as well as most of Africa on the back of his famous Charizard named "Saphira." Just kidding. None of that fairy-fuck shit in here. His Charizards name was SkullFucker, if you must know. And why Africa?Because "Fuck it," that's why. Charizard's primary moves are AutoKill, Genocide, Holocaust, and Super Nova. All of which cost 1000 souls to use. And trust me kids, our three president's I mentioned, had big bags of souls laying around. I shit you not. You think Ben Franklin was looking for electricity when he was using that kite? Fuck no. He was stealing souls from the gates of Heaven itself. Why didn't God come down and fuck back? Because he does not give two shits, for one. He thinks it's totally fucking awesome, for two. And because there's a god damn dragon chilling around with Benny Frank, G Wash and the boys from the Continental Congress, for three.