007- Squirtle

If you want to beat Pokemans Red&Blue this is the only starter Poke you're allowed to pick. No shit. It's the ultimate set up. You pick him, your Rival picks Bulbasaur (a weak fuck) because somehow grass beats water (?) in theory, but IRL it doesn't. Your Rival gets his shit packed the first time he tries to battle you, and all times after that. People sometimes complain about picking Squirtle for a starter (and all other water starters, for that matter) because for the first part of the game you have to face a lot of Bug/Grass Pokemon. These people are better known as morons. Squirtle kicks ass and takes names for the entire game, regardless of what Bug/Grass he comes upon. He's a turtle, for fucks sake. Those things eat grass and bugs and shit on a daily god damn basis to stay alive. Fish too. Some turtles eat fish. You know what else is pretty much a turtle? Bowser. Squirtles basically pre-evolution Bowser and Bowser is basically badass, therefore Squirtle is basically the most badass.